Moving Away from Massachusetts: a One-Month Update
“Why don’t you just move to Southie like everyone else your age?”
I moved to New York City about a month ago. I grew up in Scituate, Massachusetts — a small beach town an hour south of Boston. It’s a twenty minute drive to the closest highway, Target, mall, you name it. My mom always says, “We’re conveniently located away from reality and near the beach.” I wouldn’t trade my upbringing for anything in the world — I am beyond lucky to have been able to be bored on a summer day and just be able to bike to the beach. But just because we were secluded from everyone else didn’t mean those Boston stereotypes didn’t creep its way in. Almost everyone who asked me about moving to New York would ask why I didn’t just move to South Boston (“Southie”). Pretty much every 24–30-year-old from the South Shore moves to Southie with their third-grade best friends to work Monday–Friday and party Thursday–Sunday. I didn’t do the party scene in college, and I’m definitely not going to do it now that I get dizzy just from riding the subway. Southie is great, but I didn’t want to have my high school reunion before my high school reunion. My mom also says that I want an adventure, which is true, but really I just want to have my own life. Almost everyone from my town has the same timeline. Scituate > College > Southie > Scituate. I was ready to take a different route after college.
“What about your parents? Your friends? You’re going to be lonely!”
I just always jokingly remind people that telegrams have come a long way. I call my family daily, and it’s totally normal. My mom FaceTimes me to follow the cat around and to show me whatever weird thing our dog is doing at that moment. Having lived in Scituate for so many years and going to college in western Massachusetts, I have been able to observe that a lot of Massachusetts is super close-knit. This is truly an admirable thing at the heart of it. Third-grade best friends still being friends decades later is super cool and inspiring, and that’s almost every friend group you’ll ever see of a true Massachusetts local. It’s also super normal for family members to be each other’s only friends, which is something I personally cannot relate to as one of the youngest cousins in a family spread throughout the United States. Somehow, though, with these close-knit groups, everyone knows everyone and they all want to know what you’re up to…but that doesn’t mean they want what’s best for you.
“I heard from [so-and-so] that you’re moving to New York.”
What I’ve noticed about my own personal experience in Massachusetts is that the people in your circle, though they may not speak to you all the time, will do anything whenever to help you. However, I have also noticed that there will also be people who act like they’re in your circle and check on you just to talk about you to someone else over lunch the next day. I almost see Massachusetts as a 90s high school where everyone has their own clique and they stick to it, though sometimes pulling a Cady Heron from Mean Girls and dipping into other cliques from time-to-time to report back to their original clique. For instance, some people in a neighboring town won’t buy homes on the Scituate line because they don’t want “to be a person with Scituate soil on their property.” Then they’ll get dinner at a pub in Scituate Harbor and tell their friends the next day how there should be a nicer restaurant for such a nice spot.
“Are you ever coming back?”
This article makes it seem like I hate Massachusetts and people there. I don’t! I can’t wait until I have the time to go back and visit. I miss roaming the streets of Plymouth, going to my favorite restaurants, and seeing my favorite people. Though I did the math when everything so many people have been saying to me, like I’ve been listing, were circling my head one day. I realized the only things keeping me in Massachusetts, where I was not furthering my career or bettering myself as a person, were my family, my boyfriend at the time, my friend, whales, and a coffee shop. Then my family members and boyfriend reminded me that they are always up for an adventure, telling me they’ll visit me whenever they can. Then my friend made sure to tell me about all of the whale watch companies in New York. Finally, my boyfriend made a point to remind me that there are still coffee shops in New York, too. Every thing that made me want to stay in Massachusetts was literally telling me to go live my dream.
“Do you plan on staying in New York?”
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in New York. I know it’s only been a month, but I’m not lying. Every time I come here — regardless of it being for a weekend or a month, I’m super happy. Each morning, I wake up and look out my window and see the Manhattan skyline. I think about how truly lucky I am and how I will be successful and I will make sure that 10000% happens. I haven’t woken up in a bad mood since mid-July — around the time I moved to New York. Even though I wear a Yankees hat sometimes without my dad knowing, I still have my David Ortiz shirt and Red Sox Snuggie. Each day I think about Massachusetts and all the values I have just from being raised there. Massachusetts will always be home, but it’s okay to have multiple homes.
“Don’t forget where you came from.”
